Preparing for Birth
The very first emotion attached to labour is what? PAIN. I associated childbirth with pain and I hadn’t even experienced it. Why? Because I grew up watching movies where it was played out with a lot of screaming, sweat on the mother’s hair line, grabbing the husband by the collar, cursing and yelling for meds and that’s just Hollywood. In Bollywood productions, pregnant ladies would somehow give birth alone in the middle of a street or a jail cell, thundering background, screaming with a flashes of lightning but still that eyeliner didn’t jog at all. Hmm, Maybe she’s born with it, Maybe its Maybelline?!
The portrayal of labour has always been this way. I’m not here to tell you otherwise, just jotting down my thoughts from our experience.
I’m a firm believer of listening to others experiences, everyone has and is entitled to their own opinion. However I’ve spent most my life in London so it’s safe to say I automatically lean towards the European way of life. Recently life has become somewhat American, in regards to different procedures and methodology when it comes to doing things. The steps are different along with the mindset. I tend to find myself in a game of tug of war between two cultures.
My British friends and family have different views compared to my American ones. The topic of pregnancy and labour was no different. UK stories are filled with non medicated births, water births and birthing centers. Americans ones were filled with epidurals and ceasareans. I was filled with constant doubt. All I hoped for was a peaceful, non-medicated experience.
The irony of me marrying a pharmacist is too real! I can count on my hands the amount of times I’ve ever taken Tylenol or Advil in the last decade. I lean heavily towards natural remedies whenever possible. Labour was the same in my mind. I knew I didn’t want the epidural. But would the pain be bad enough that I would have to? The unknown is what causes such terrifying fear. One thing was clear as blue skies, I wouldn’t know what I would need for labour until I got there. Fortunately for me my bestie introduced me to the concept of hypnobirthing. I had no idea this existed.
So like any anxious mother to be, I read “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” which briefly glances over hyponobirthing. This intrigued me further. I realised to learn and practice this methodology an instructor would be needed. I found one close to the area I live in (totally shocking as I live in no mans land) but unfortunately our timetables weren’t synchronising.
Fun fact: trying to get my husband on the same page as me for labour was like aiming for bullseye on a dartboard… with a blindfold on… whilst upside down. Tell me you get it?! We’re like polar end. He is all science and I’m science with a pinch of hocus-pocus and fairy dust. I started off by wanting a water birth. It just sounded zen to have our baby enter the world by swimming their way out. He stood firm at wanting an OB to assist us while giving birth at a hospital, which had a NICU attached to it. I couldn’t blame him for that, he didn’t know anything other than the idea of a traditional birth within the hospital walls. We went through some hardship to conceive and in his mind nothing was to be compromised at this point. I took it upon myself to educate him on the things he did not know. I told him stories of some of my nearest and how things can turn negative regardless of where you may be. Sometimes it seems the scariest stories come from the hospitals, more than likely because they perform the most births.
Anyways, I started looking for birthing center near us- NADA, nothing, not one! Thank you dear husband for moving me to the middle of nowhere. Next, I approached him with the idea of a home birth. I knew this was a losing battle no matter how hard I tried to promote it. Lastly we both found common ground and decided to go find a doula service to help us bring in our sweet baby.